The Mindfull listening

 

The Art of Listening

*Dr. B.S. Chakravarthy

Why Do Most of Us Struggle to Listen?

Many of us are poor listeners. While someone else is speaking, we tend to interrupt with our point of view—often without realizing it. Sometimes, a related thought pops into our mind, and we feel the urge to express it immediately.

But this habit breaks the speaker’s flow and disconnects the conversation.

Listening requires restraint. When someone is talking, pay full attention. Make mental notes. Interject only when necessary and ideally wait until they finish speaking before sharing your perspective.

Listening: A Chance to Connect at a Deeper Level

When we truly listen, we begin to notice key details—what the speaker cares about, their concerns, passions, or personal stories. They may mention:

* Family

* Business or work

* Children

* Travel

* Personal challenges

* Even things like politics or health

For example, if someone mentions their upcoming trip to Kanaka Durga Temple in Vijayawada, and you’ve been there before, you can later follow up with tips on where to stay, eat, or visit.

If you miss the chance to respond in that moment due to a crowd, ask for their contact and share useful information later.

This kind of follow-up builds genuine bonds.

Listening Builds Trust & Respect

When you listen with sincerity, your responses carry weight. You’re no longer speaking from ego but from awareness and care. Over time, this mindset makes you:

* More likable

* More helpful

* A true **student of life**

It also shifts you away from the *“know-it-all”* attitude that often isolates people.

Why Is It So Difficult to Listen?

* Our brain thinks 3 to 4 times faster than we speak. That speed gap makes us impatient.

* We judge the speaker too early—as boring, irrelevant, or wrong—and tune out.

* Our body language gives us away. Wandering eyes, checking notifications, or fidgeting reveals we are only pretending to listen.

Over time, this disconnect weakens human connection and makes us less approachable.

What to Do in “Boring” Conversations?

Instead of drifting away mentally, keep the flow going with open-ended or reflective questions like:

* “Do you really think so?”

* “Is that so?”

* “Tell me more about that.”

* “Do I understand you correctly?”

* “Could you explain that part again?”

Even simple acknowledgments help:

* “I see.”

* “That’s interesting.”

* “Hmm, I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

These responses anchor your presence in the moment—and validate the speaker

The Power of Body Language

Nonverbal cues speak volumes. Practice:

* Steady eye contact

* Gentle nodding

* Open, upright posture

* A calm, curious facial expression

All of these say: “I value what you’re saying.”

The Hidden Power of Silence

Good listeners don’t rush to respond. They use silent moments to reflect and mentally summarize the speaker’s main points.

This quiet processing time shows maturity and builds trust. You’ll rarely disappoint someone if you’ve truly heard them.

Conclusion:

Listening Is a Practice of the Heart

Like any art, good listening takes:

Patience

 Self-discipline

A genuine interest in people

A commitment to lifelong learning

With time, you’ll make better decisions, foster meaningful relationships, and become a respected presence—all through the simple, powerful act of listening.

Key Takeaways

1. Don’t interrupt—observe and process.

2. Engage with presence—use verbal and nonverbal cues.

3. Ask reflective or clarifying questions**—to deepen the conversation.

4. Use silence wisely—as a moment of thought, not discomfort.

5. Follow up when appropriate—helping someone based on what they said builds deeper trust.

SOURCE : The Human connect : MANOJ GuRSAHANI